A Sobering Conversation with a Catholic Mom

March 24, 2008

Alter boy lighting candle.

I usually shy away from things with religious or political overtones, simply because there is never really a conclusive answer to those types of conversations–at least none that everyone can leave the conversation satisfied with. I’m going to break my rule today, simply because I was so astonished by what was said that I simply had to share it.

I was talking with a young mother who has a little boy who is attending a Lutheran school. She was raised Catholic so this news did not go over very well with her family (as you might guess). This well known fact was the "elephant in the room" as she visited with her family over Easter weekend and she thought she might get out unscathed, until one of her more aggressive sisters had finally had enough.

"What’s the deal with your son going to Lutheran school?" she asked with a tone of stark disapproval. The mom, we’ll call her Linda, steeled her nerve and prepared to engage formidable foes.

"I’ll send him to Catholic school when the Catholic Church accepts responsibility and does what it needs to do to keep him safe," she said succinctly with just a quiver of adrenaline tinged nervousness inside.

"What’s THAT supposed to mean?" her sister fired back.

"It means that I’d be afraid for him physically and mentally if he attended Catholic school. Right at this moment there are priests serving who are known to have sexually abused children and the Church is protecting them and allowing them to stay in their stations. Until they admit these things and correct them, I will keep the name but they will not put my child at risk or see a cent of my money ." (See a related video from KCVE Newscenter Channel 5 for a new development on this issue.)

If you think you can imagine what happened next you might be surprised. Linda’s father joined in the conversation, and supported her position!

"I’m proud of you for not just going along with the flow, Linda," he said. He went on to say that though he desired his grandson to embrace Catholicism, it was important to him that his daughter made the best decisions for her son.

This was related to me by Linda herself. It was shocking to her, as it was to me that her family supported her decision and dropped the matter completely.

The truth of the matter is, although the light has been thrown upon the problem of abuse in the Catholic church, the problem is quite literally everywhere. It is when the places and people that we put the most trust in disappoint us that it becomes such an emotional affair that it is predominant in our minds and in our society.

Figures such as priests or preachers, doctors and police officers are supposed to represent what is good and decent in our society. When these people fail us, it strikes a chord that pains us all to our very cores. I write this not to discredit any religion or generalize any group, but rather to share the feeling I had when I heard the story. Truly saddened.

Linda then related this last little tidbit that I found very amusing. She said that there is a very wealthy man that attends her cathedral. He is adamant that priests who violate the priesthood should not be protected by the church and should be removed from their stations. He has not given up on his faith, but rather he has decided to take a stand about some of it’s practices. When the offering plate is passed, he does not put money in. Instead he puts a single, folded piece of paper in every time. On the paper it reads the same every week:

"I have opened up a separate account for the money which I have tithed to the Church. (A huge figure has amassed in the totals column). I will remit payment of these tithes, when the Church recognizes what it needs to do and ceases to protect the predators of our children and properly denounces and dismisses them."

Do you think more involved parishioners like this one might help incur changes that could save a new generation of children from prosecution immune predators? (See the video above for an update on this issue.)

Controversial, but none-the-less interesting…

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