Is the Ferber Method Harmful to my Baby?

April 2, 2008

Dr. Richard Ferber wrote a book 20 years ago outlining a method to help babies go to sleep on their own. This method has been attacked and criticized by many, especially those who prefer the "co-sleep" or "family bed" approach. It is seen by those that oppose "Ferberization" or the method of letting a baby "cry it out" (CIO), as something cruel, unnatural and harmful to a developing baby’s psyche. Is this true?

I believe that the answer to this question can be gained by listening to all of the moms and dads out there, who have shared their experiences using, or not using this method. There are some heated posts on the subject on the CafeMom and BabyCenter forums both for and against. Through engaging in these discussions and reading the various posts, I’ve formed an opinion and I’d like to share it with you.

First off, every good parent’s intention is to do no harm to their child. It is for this reason that many have not and will not attempt the Ferber method, because it sends pangs of guilt through their very being to consider that they could be harming their child in any way. What I’ve found throughout my human journey, is that fear-based decisions are rarely satisfying. It has been better in my experience to fight fear with FACTS. So, rather than make an emotional decision about the issue, let’s do just that, look at the facts.

Proponents say, "…sleeping alone lets your child "see himself [herself] as an independent individual."

Opponents say, "The most natural place for your new baby to sleep is with you. This environment is nurturing to the infant, and gives the baby the familiar, comforting, soothing sensations of the womb, including the familiar maternal heartbeat."

The Facts: Comparing Ferberized to non-Ferberized children is fruitless. Any differences found are likely to be due to broadly different approaches in child-rearing practices – or different cultural backgrounds. In other words, we cannot control these other variables to estimate the worth [or lack thereof] of Ferberizing.

It comes down to individuals. You should judge which method you will use by your own situation, beliefs and by your child as an individual. What works for one does not always for another. Be flexible, and make the decisions you feel are best for your situation, is my advice.

It may be of interest to note that Ferber himself has come to a similar conclusion. His book was finally updated after 20 years of research. A quote from his interview with PEDIATRIC VIEWS:

"Twenty years ago we had very little direct experience. We’ve found that youngsters sleep very well in a variety of situations, as seen around the world. From a sleep perspective, we have little evidence for or against any of these arrangements. We like to know families have plans for what they’re going to do, for how long they plan to co-sleep and how they will transition to the next step. The American Academy of Pediatrics’ recent guidelines against co-sleeping were stronger than past statements. While this is safe advice for the population at large, since it assures avoiding conditions that could be dangerous if not controlled, we’ve found that individual families can understand that if they make the changes necessary to assure the safety of the baby, they can co-sleep fairly safely. Another option is having the cradle near the bed."

-Dr. Richard Ferber

Our personal experience is that we used the Ferber method and it worked out very well. Our son is happy and well-adjusted and the envy of our friends. At 16 months, he knows when it is "night-night" time, goes through his bedtime ritual and falls swiftly to sleep in his own crib with no fuss. We have never allowed him to form the habit of sleeping in our bed, but always comforted him if he had any issues (without picking him up) throughout the night. It took only 3 days for him to begin to sleep through the night without crying.

So would I say I’m a Ferber advocate? No. I would not. When and IF we have another baby, we will see what is right for us and our child and reconsider any new information at that time.

The biggest point I want to make is that you should do what you think is best in your own situation. Don’t fall into the trap of judging others for the decisions they make on this issue, because there is no solid proof supporting one method over another, but there are a lot of zealots in both camps whose sole focus is on the baby, while they eviscerate the caregivers. In the long run, how those caregivers feel about themselves may have a stronger effect on the child indirectly than either sleep method choice might have had.

For an audio clip of Dr. Ferber’s revisions on his theory as heard on NPR, click HERE.

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